Picture this – You’re in the Odeon watching, let’s say Pulp Fiction…
(First published on 11th April 2002, by Arab Homer)
You’ve just got half way through the scene where Harvey Keitel is showing John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson, how to clean up the car, after the kids head gets blown off.
Now, you haven’t seen the film before, you still haven’t sussed out how all the different storylines fit together, and you definetly don’t know how it’s going to end, but, you suddenly realise that if you leave now, you can be in the car and on yer way home before anyone else; brilliant!
So without even taking the time to shovel that final handful of popcorn into yer mouth, you’ve grabbed the kids together, (okay, I know it’s an 18, but it’s artistic license) forced your way to the end of the aisle, and you’re gone, into the car-park, rev the engine and off…
How was the film son?
Aye, sound ma, dinnae ken what happened like, but it’ll probably be on the telly sometime next year.
How many other films have you missed over the years – the shoot out in Resevoir Dogs, the identity of the killer in Jagged Edge, the grave scene in Carrie, maybe you go all the way back still not knowing whether Humphrey Bogart leaves with Ingrid Bergman in Casablanca, but then, no-one does that, at least not at the cinema. Change of scene…
Every other week I sit at the end of a row at the top of an exit from the George Fox stand. Without fail, no matter who we’re playing or whether we’re playing great football or getting gubbed, I have to spend the last ten minutes of the game dodging around, trying to see the action in-between a steady stream of legs, bellies, screaming bairns and discarded remnants of pie.
Yes, it’s the early leavers, but can anybody tell me why they do it? Let’s go back to the cinema analogy for a minute, nobody in their right mind pays to see a film and then walks out before the film ends, every time they go to the pictures.
Okay, maybe there’s a minority who have to catch the last bus, hate every film they see, suddenly get a dose of the becasue of the hot-dogs, or remember that they’re mother just died, but lets be honest, they must be a tiny minority, and then, every time they go to the cinema!
So why does this happen at the football? Maybe it’s just annoying me because of where ah’m sitting this season, especially when the team are playing well (not that it’s happened in a while) which makes even less sense. You can picture the scene ten years from now…
No son, ah’ve never seen United lift a trophy in my lifetime… ah could’ave done in 2004, like, but ah had tae get away ten minutes ‘afore the end, and ah missed Charlie’s winning goal ken.
As it is just think of some of the brilliant moments they’ve missed over the past few years – Sweg’s winner against Celtic, Hammy’s equalizer against the Dee, McIntyre’s winner against the Dee, and of course, Welshie’s equalizer against Thistle; maybe they think we won the cup in ’88.
As a spectator it annoys me that my enjoyment of the game is spoiled by literally hundreds of people who can’t stick in their seats for the full ninety minutes, okay maybe thats my problem, but what about the players? All you early leavers, the people that are supposed to support the team, it can’t do much for the team’s morale when they see large sections of the crowd drifting out as the game nears its conclusion, however well they’re doing.
If you’re a seson-ticket holder and an early leaver, maybe you could just work out how much you miss each week, mutiply that by the number of games – say 19 home games x 10 minutes, 190 minutes, that’s two whole matches. Why don’t you stay the full ninety minutes and hand wo of yer tickets to those that would appreciate the games.
They’ll get to see the wonderous site, and you’ll be no worse off, you” also save money on bus fares, train fares or petrol, not to mention pies, beer, sweets, fags and programmes, as well as not having to put up with people like me slagging you off for deserting the cause.
